if words are your weapons, my dear i surrender.

1. “bacon is the most amazing thing in the world and there is nothing wrong with it at all.  if i ever find someone who is speaking ill of bacon i will seduce their entire family and make them run away with me to a secluded island and then have a weird incest island orgy and video tape it and blog it so everyone knows how messed up that weirdo’s family is.   there you have it… hate bacon and there will be video’s of you’re family banging each other on the internet.  the end”

2. “I am James Deen and here is my penis. looooooooooooook at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOOK AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is nice having a penis that i can put on the internet at will when i don’t feel like writing a blog post.”